Escape to Paradise: Uncover Villa Esha's Bali Secrets
Okay, buckle up, because we're not just reviewing Villa Esha in Bali. We're experiencing it. And trust me, after sifting through enough hotel jargon to build a freaking skyscraper, I'm ready to spill the beans (and maybe a little Bintang).
Escape to Paradise: Uncover Villa Esha's Bali Secrets – (Mostly) Uncensored Review
Let's start with the basics, the stuff that keeps you from having a total meltdown the second you arrive.
Accessibility (Trying to be inclusive, good on ya!)
Right, so "Facilities for disabled guests" is listed. Okay, that's a start. I'm walking, so I didn't spend a ton of time analyzing the nitty-gritty of wheelchair access. But a general heads-up to the mobility-challenged traveler: always double-check these things with the hotel before you book. Bali is beautiful, but…well, let's just say it's not always designed with smooth, effortless accessibility in mind.
Internet & Tech Stuff (Gotta Stay Connected, Sigh)
- Internet Access: Uh, yeah. Okay. Check.
- Free Wi-Fi in All Rooms! YES! Finally, something I can wholeheartedly endorse. Because let's be real, the first thing you do after a 24-hour flight is check your Instagram, and Villa Esha understands that. The Wi-Fi was generally solid (though I did experience a brief, heart-stopping moment of buffering during a video call… which, in the grand scheme of island life, barely registers).
- Internet [LAN]: Hmm, old-school wired option. Honestly, who uses LAN anymore? Unless you're secretly a hardcore gamer hiding in your villa, you're probably fine with the Wi-Fi.
- Internet Services: Okay, vague. Probably means… they'll help you connect? I'm assuming.
Cleanliness & Safety (Pandemic Blues & Beyond)
Okay, let's get real. Traveling in the age of Rona… it's a minefield. How does Villa Esha hold up?
- Anti-viral cleaning products: Good.
- Daily disinfection in common areas: Very good.
- Hand sanitizer: Present and accounted for.
- Rooms sanitized between stays: Okay, I didn't see them actually sanitize, but I’m choosing to believe!
- Staff trained in safety protocol: Again, choosing to believe!
- Sanitized kitchen and tableware items: Phew. Good.
- Physical distancing of at least 1 meter: This one was a little…wobbly. It really depends on the guests. But hey, at least they’re “trying”.
- Room sanitization opt-out available: Hmm, I’m not quite sure what this means… opt out of the santization? Do not disturb sign seems more effective.
- Meals for individual wrap available: The "individually-wrapped food options" did make me chuckle. It is Bali, after all. (And to be honest, I'm happy to take the extra layer of germ protection.)
- First aid kit: Excellent. Just in case.
- Doctor/nurse on call: Also excellent.
- Hygiene certification: Did not see.
The most important part of reviews, the dining area
- Asian Breakfast: More like a buffet! It was pretty decent. The nasi goreng was good, there was fresh fruit, and the coffee was strong. Needed that. (After, y'know, the aforementioned 24-hour flight.)
- International Cuisine in restaurant: Yes.
- Western Cuisine in restaurant: Yep.
- Restaurants: The restaurant on-site was pretty nice.
- Poolside bar: Essential. The cocktails were… well, let’s just say they got the job done.
- Room service [24-hour]: Huge Win!
- Buffet in restaurant: A buffet is always a good choice to enjoy your meal!
What to DO? (Because You Can't Just Lie on a Beach Forever… Can You?)
- Things to do: Well, the villa itself offers a solid dose of relaxation.
- Ways to relax: Okay, this is where Villa Esha shines. Let's break it down:
- Pool with view: Check. Absolutely stunning. The infinity pool literally blends into the rice terraces. It's the kind of view that makes you question all your life choices…in a good way.
- Spa: Yes!
- Massage: OH. MY. GOD. The massage. Seriously. I got a Balinese massage and it was… transformative. They got all the kinks out, the knots, the stress. You know, all the stuff you didn't even realize you were carrying around until it was gone. (Highly, highly recommended. Seriously book more than one.)
- Spa/sauna: Yes, these amenities are present.
- Sauna: Yes.
- Steamroom: Yes.
- Gym/fitness: Okay, I have to be honest. I glanced at the fitness area. It’s there, it looks adequate. But between the pool, the massages, and the general Bali-ness of the place, I was not inclined to do any actual exercising.
- Body scrub/Body wrap: Oh my, yes. The treatments!
- Foot bath: I didn’t try one.
- Swimming pool [outdoor]: This is the pool listed under Pool with view.
Rooms & Amenities (The Nitty Gritty)
Okay, let's talk about the heart and soul of the experience: the villa itself. I'm going to get really specific here, because that's what matters.
- Available in all rooms: This means all room types!
- Additional toilet: Nice!
- Air conditioning: Essential. Bali is HOT. Like, "melting your brain" hot.
- Alarm clock: Useful.
- Bathrobes: Soft, luxurious, and perfect for lounging in.
- Bathroom phone: Never used it, but hey.
- Bathtub: Yes!
- Blackout curtains: Absolutely necessary for sleeping in after enjoying the sunset.
- Closet: Plenty of space.
- Coffee/tea maker: Yes!
- Complimentary tea: Yes
- Daily housekeeping: A godsend.
- Desk: For those important social media posts (and maybe a little work, who knows?… I couldn’t tell).
- Extra long bed: I'm tall, so this was a win.
- Free bottled water: Crucial. Stay hydrated!
- Hair dryer: Check.
- High floor: Depends on your villa.
- In-room safe box: Great.
- Internet access – LAN: See above.
- Internet access – wireless: See above.
- Ironing facilities: I don’t iron on a vacation!
- Laptop workspace: Yes.
- Linens: Fine.
- Mini bar: Yes!
- Mirror: Yep.
- Non-smoking: Good.
- On-demand movies: I did not use.
- Private bathroom: Yes.
- Reading light: A nice touch.
- Refrigerator: Yes.
- Safety/security feature: Yes.
- Satellite/cable channels: Yes.
- Scale: Oh, no. Not on vacation.
- Seating area: Plenty of space to sprawl.
- Separate shower/bathtub: Nice.
- Shower: Yes.
- Slippers: Provided.
- Smoke detector: Check.
- Socket near the bed: Thank god.
- Sofa: Yes.
- Soundproofing: Yes.
- Telephone: Yes.
- Toiletries: Decent.
- Towels: Plenty.
- Umbrella: Bali is rainy, especially during the rainy season.
- Visual alarm: I did not see.
- Wake-up service: Useful.
- Wi-Fi [free]: Thank goodness!
- Window that opens: Yes!
Services and Conveniences (The Little Things)
- Air conditioning in public area: Good.
- Audio-visual equipment for special events: I didn't see any.
- Business facilities: They have the bare essentials.
- Cash withdrawal: They have a currency exchange.
- Concierge: Super helpful!
- Contactless check-in/out: Check?
- Convenience store: They have one?
- Currency exchange: They have one.
- Daily housekeeping: Awesome.
- Doorman: Yep.
- Dry cleaning: Yep.
Okay, buckle up, buttercups, because this isn't your meticulously planned, Instagram-filtered Bali trip. This is the real deal, my chaotic, beautiful, soul-searching journey to Villa Esha. Let's dive headfirst into the glorious mess.
VILLA ESHA - BALI. OH, BALI! (And My Brain)
(Let's be honest, I'm still slightly jet-lagged, clinging to the remnants of a decent night's sleep. Bali time is a cruel mistress.)
Day 1: Arrival and Existential Dread (in a Deluxe Way)
- Morning (like, noon-ish): Landed at Denpasar airport. Smooth (ish) customs, though my passport photo looks like a wanted poster. The driver, bless his cotton socks, waited patiently, even when I had to backtrack because I swear I left my phone in the baggage claim. Nope. Just anxiety. And a lost sense of direction.
- Afternoon (Villa Bliss?): Arrived at Villa Esha. HOLY. GUACAMOLE. The pictures online? They lied. (In a good way!) This place is insane. The pool? Sigh. The open-air living room? Dreamy. First reaction? Pure, unadulterated joy. Followed by a creeping sense of: am I worthy of this? The existential dread of the well-off, I guess.
- Quirky Observation: The staff are all ridiculously polite. It's almost… unnerving. Like living in a 5-star hotel run by angels. I'm pretty sure I've accidentally said "thank you" approximately 347 times today. That's a lot of gratitude. So, a question of the day: How long can someone be this polite before it starts to be insincere? I'm curious.
- Afternoon (Poolside Panic?): Dipped my toes in the water. It was the perfect temperature. Then I realized I hadn’t packed any sunscreen. Cue mild panic. Managed to find some SPF 50 tucked in the bottom of my suitcase. Thank God. The sun in Bali is ruthless.
- Evening (Food Coma of Joy): Dinner at the Villa. Grilled fish, fragrant rice, spicy sambal that almost made me cry (tears of deliciousness, naturally). The chef is a magician! I'm pretty sure I ate enough to feed a small village. Now? Stuffed and ready for a nap.
Day 2: Temples, Tears, and Terrible Bargaining Skills
- Morning ("Waking Up" is a generous term): Got up at 9:00. Had a terrible cup of coffee, spent 30 minutes deciding on an outfit (why is this so difficult when I'm on vacation?), and found a good spot to get a massage.
- Emotional Reactions: I was excited to see the temples, to soak in the culture, the spirituality of it all. But I was also really, really nervous. I hate crowds. I hate feeling like a gawking tourist. I wanted to feel something, but I was afraid of feeling nothing at all. So…here goes!
- Afternoon (Uluwatu Adventure): Headed to Uluwatu Temple. The views. The views! Breathtaking. Seriously. I almost teared up (it might have been the wind, or the overwhelming beauty, or the fact that I'm a giant softie). The monkeys, though… the monkeys are thieves. Almost lost my sunglasses! Learned a valuable lesson: always, ALWAYS, keep your eyes peeled.
- Afternoon (Tirta Empul Revelation): Tirta Empul. Holy cleansing water. The water felt freezing. The crowd was something else. It was powerful though. It's hard to explain. I felt something. A pang of peace, maybe? Definitely a lot of goosebumps. And a realization that maybe, just maybe, I wasn't as cynical as I thought.
- Messier Structure: Wait, have I mentioned the traffic? It's a beast. The scooters weave through the roads like they are possessed. Our driver was a zen master, somehow navigating the chaos with a smile. I, on the other hand, was a nervous wreck, gripping the seat like my life depended on it. And also, this is where I realize just how terrible I am at bargaining. I am so easily swindled.
- Evening (Warung Wanderer): Dinner at a local warung (small, family-run restaurant). Fell in love with nasi goreng. A mountain of fragrant rice, spiced with chili, topped with a fried egg. It was pure, unadulterated heaven. Didn't have enough rupiah to leave a proper tip. So, I left all my change. It was all I had. I hope it was enough. I truly do.
- Quirky Moment: Almost gave a monkey my sunglasses when I went to the beach. They were so, so many.
Day 3: Surfing, Sunsets, and Self-Doubt (Rinse and Repeat)
- Morning (Surfing Snafu): Tried to surf. Epic fail. Or, more accurately, epic faceplant. The waves kept pummeling me! But it was hilarious. And, surprisingly, incredibly freeing. The ocean is a great teacher of humility. Plus, I got a decent amount of water in me.
- Opinionated Language: Okay, let's be honest. I'm not built for surfing. I'm more of a "relax on the beach with a book and judge the surfers" kind of person. But I had to try, right? Bucket list and all. The instructor was incredibly patient, bless him. I went down like a sack of potatoes.
- Afternoon (Sunset Serendipity): Watched the sunset at Tanah Lot temple. It was stunning. Picturesque! The sky exploded with color. It was almost too beautiful. I couldn't help but feel a little bit alone, even with the other tourists around. The sunset was a masterpiece, and the perfect way to end the day.
- Emotional Reaction: I'm starting to feel something. A sense of… peace? Maybe Bali is starting to work its magic. Or maybe it's just the ridiculously good food. Either way, I'm not complaining.
- Evening (Villa Reflection): Back at the Villa, staring at the stars in the infinity pool. Realized I'd left my book in the ocean. Stupid, stupid, stupid. And I'm not sure how I feel about all these deep thoughts. (I've come to the conclusion that I'm an incredibly flawed, yet strangely lovable human being.)
Day 4: Spa Days, Rice Paddies, and the Urgent Need for a Laundry Service
- Morning: Spa day! The most luxurious massage of my life. Every knot in my tense body was melted away. The Balinese massage is an art form. Worth every penny. (And I might have fallen asleep and snored. Sorry, masseuse!)
- Afternoon: Explored the rice paddies. They are breathtaking. I'm not sure if I took more pictures of the paddies or of myself posing with them. Probably the latter. I need to get better at not being that tourist.
- Quirky Observation: I may need to get a laundry service. I think I have filled a suitcase of dirty clothes at this point.
- Afternoon (Lunching Like a Local): Had lunch at a Warung. It was a smaller one, the locals suggested. The food was just as good. The prices were lower.
- Evening: Watched another sunset from the beach. It was almost as beautiful as the day before!
- Rambling Time: I am trying to find myself, you know? I am the type of person who hates the idea of a "finding yourself" cliché, but maybe it is real. I see the world differently since I have been here.
- Opinionated Language: This trip has been a mess. In the best way! I am a hot mess. I am learning more every day.
- Emotional Reaction: I am happy. I can't believe it. And I don't want to go home.
Day 5 (and beyond…): More exploration. More laughter. More probably messing things up. Stay tuned. The chaos continues!
(And yes, I fully intend on going back to get those damn sunglasses back from the monkey.)
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Escape to Paradise: Uncover Villa Esha's Bali Secrets (Chaos Edition) - FAQs
Okay, spill the beans. Is Villa Esha actually paradise, or just Instagram-filtered lies?
Alright, here's the unvarnished truth. Look, Bali is *beautiful*. Villa Esha? Yeah, it's got the "oh-my-god-I-can't-believe-this-is-real" factor, *mostly*. Think: lush greenery, infinity pool that makes you feel like you're swimming into the rice paddies, and that dreamy "Bali-chic" aesthetic that’s all over the 'gram. BUT… there are always buts, right?
First off, remember that idyllic photo of the breakfast spread? Yeah, sometimes the fruit flies had other plans. And getting that perfect shot of your morning coffee before it's a lukewarm, insect-adjacent beverage? A daily struggle. More on that later – let's just say my patience for fruit flies is now… minimal.
So, paradise? Eighty percent, maybe. Ninety percent? Depends on your tolerance for tiny, buzzing freeloaders. And your ability to cope with intense jungle vibes (more on that later too... the geckos were something else!).
The pool – tell me EVERYTHING about the pool. It looks *divine*.
Ah, the pool. My therapist says I’m still processing my relationship with that pool. Okay, it *was* divine. Absolutely gorgeous. The infinity edge melted into the rice fields, giving you this incredible sense of space and freedom. Floating in it, with a Bintang in hand… pure bliss!
But here's the thing: the pool is, as they say, *public*. By which I mean, the local kids are known to take some unauthorized swims after dark, who knows when you arrive to a muddy looking pool, that one time I found a small child's shoe. I hope the child is okay. Anyway, there’s also the odd rogue leaf, the occasional (very small) lizard, and a LOT of sun. I sunburned in places I didn’t even *know* could be sunburned. Consider yourself warned. Pack the high-SPF, people. Your skin will thank you.
And the pool towels? Let's just say I went through more towels than I do… well, anything. But the view? Worth every single, slightly damp, second. I still dream about that pool.
What about the service? Is it *actually* as attentive as everyone says?
The service… okay, this is where things get complicated. On paper, it's amazing. Dedicated staff, willing to cater to your every whim, and that beautiful, "yes, madam/sir" attitude that makes you feel like royalty, at least for a little while.
In reality? Well, it's a mixed bag. Sometimes, you get that perfectly-timed massage and a magically appearing cocktail just when you need it. Other times? Requests get… lost. Like, the one time I asked for extra coffee pods and, I think, the request may have entered a black hole of Balinese efficiency. The breakfast order? Let's just say I became very, very zen about waiting for my omelet.
But the staff... bless their hearts. They're genuinely lovely, warm, and try their best. It's just... Bali time, you know? Embrace it. Learn to chill. And maybe pack your own coffee pods just in case.
Food! What was the food like? Did you end up living on Nasi Goreng?
Okay, food. I *love* food. And Bali? Bali delivered. At least, most of the time. Villa-prepared meals were a highlight - the fresh, locally sourced ingredients, the spice combinations… chef's kiss! The breakfasts were phenomenal when they arrived, that I could take the time to enjoy it.
Did I end up eating a lot of Nasi Goreng? Absolutely. Delicious, cheap, and available everywhere. It's a staple, almost as required as sunscreen. I became a Nasi Goreng connoisseur, honestly. And the warungs (small, local restaurants)? Absolute gems. Cheap, authentic, and some of the best food I've ever eaten.
But be warned: street food is tempting, but proceed with caution. My stomach and I had a… misunderstanding on one particular occasion involving a suspect satay skewer. Let's just say that adventure involved a lot of "comfort room" time.
Let's talk about geckos. Are they as terrifying as I imagine?
Geckos. Oh, the geckos. They are… an experience. Let me tell you, before Bali, I had a totally chill vibe with my lizard friends, no problem. Now? Well, I still have a totally chill vibe. From a safe distance.
Villa Esha? Gecko central. They’re tiny, they’re cute (from afar!), and they make this… *chirping* sound. At first, it's kinda charming. Then, it's every single night, every single hour, like a chorus line of tiny, scaly night watchmen. The noise? It's... constant. In every. Single. Room.
They poop. They fall from the ceiling. One time, I *swear* one landed on my head. I freaked. Full-on, screaming, flailing-around freak out. My partner, bless him, thought it was hilarious. So, yeah. Geckos. Embrace them. Or stock up on earplugs and a very good sense of humor.
Okay, you've mentioned "fruit flies" a few times. The truth, *please*. Are they a plague?
Alright, let's go deep. The fruit flies. Oh, GOD, the fruit flies. They weren't just present. They were *residents*. They were a tiny, buzzing, persistent *fact of life* at Villa Esha.
Think: that perfect breakfast spread I mentioned? Within minutes, it was an all-you-can-eat buffet for tiny winged fiends. Coffee? Forget about a peaceful morning sip. You're waving your hands, swatting, and muttering curses under your breath. Every. Single. Day. I took to guarding my coffee with a hawk-like intensity. Banana peels? A fruit fly convention. It was… an intense relationship.
Look, I’m not trying to scare you. I’m just saying… pack a fly swatter. Or maybe a flamethrower (kidding!). And prepare to wage a small, silent war against the most persistent, and annoying, of Balinese residents. You'll survive. You'll just be a *little bit* traumatized.
Would you go back? Be honest!
Would I go back? Absolutely. UnequBest Hotels Blog
