Escape to Paradise: Fernvale Leisure Club & Resort, Palawan
Okay, buckle up buttercups, because we're about to dive headfirst into the shimmering, hopefully-paradise-inducing waters of Escape to Paradise: Fernvale Leisure Club & Resort, Palawan! (And yes, I'm already picturing a cocktail, because, hello, Palawan!) This isn't your sanitized, travel-brochure BS; this is the unfiltered, slightly-disheveled, maybe-a-little-hangry me giving you the lowdown. Let's get messy.
First Impressions: Getting There & Accessibility (Sort Of…):
Right off the bat, Palawan is a mission. The airport transfers are… well, they're transfers. Think a slightly bumpy ride punctuated by palm trees and the hopeful gleam of the ocean. My biggest worry here, and I'm not a person of mobility issues, is the accessibility. They do advertise "Facilities for disabled guests," which is a great start. But I need specifics! Are ramps actually ramps, or "that-thing-they-call-a-ramp-that-looks-like-a-cliff-face"? The "Elevator" is a good sign, and the "Car park [free of charge]" is always a win – especially with these island prices. Airport transfer is key.
The Room: A Sanctuary (Hopefully) or a Disaster Zone (Fingers Crossed)?
Okay, here's where things get really interesting. My checklist runneth over:
- Wi-Fi [free] in all rooms! Okay, that's a decent starting point. A lifesaver! But tell me the speed is great. We are in the 21st century, after all.
- Air conditioning: Absolutely essential. Palawan heat is no joke. No one wants to roll around in their sweat.
- Free bottled water: Bless the gods. Dehydration is a real risk.
- Coffee/tea maker: Essential for my morning ritual.
- Other good stuff: Desk, laptop workspace, safe, hair dryer (amen!), and, and, and…Blackout curtains! This is a big win, people! Finally some peace!
- Additional toilet: Nice. Because sometimes you need a second.
I'm noticing a bathtub, separate shower/bathtub, and slippers - all points. Let's see if the bathrobes are plush.
Pro Tip: I am also looking for Soundproofing - essential for a proper nap.
Cleanliness and Safety: Are They Actually Trying to Keep Me Alive?
This is HUGE. This year, it's non-negotiable. I want to arrive at a place where people actually prioritize my safety. I am looking for:
- Anti-viral cleaning products: Yes, please!
- Rooms sanitized between stays: Double yes!
- Daily disinfection in common areas: Triple yes!
- Hand sanitizer: Everywhere, please!
- Staff trained in safety protocol: Give me the confidence!
- First aid kit: Always important.
- Smoke alarms: Basic, but vital.
- Fire extinguisher: Make me feel protected.
- CCTV (Cameras) in common areas and outside property: Security!
- Doctor/nurse on call: Just in case (knock on wood).
- Hot water linen and laundry washing: Very important during these days.
I'm also interested in the option to Room sanitization opt-out available: sometimes I like my germs.
Food, Glorious Food… and Drink!:
- Restaurants, Poolside bar: Hello, paradise!
- Breakfast [buffet], Asian breakfast, Western breakfast: Variety is the spice of life, right?
- A la carte in restaurant, Buffet in restaurant: Good options.
- Room service [24-hour]: Essential for those midnight cravings.
- Coffee/tea in restaurant, Coffee shop: Yes!
- Happy hour, Bar: Cheers!
- Desserts in restaurant, Snack bar: Yes! Because I like sweets.
- Vegetarian restaurant, Asian cuisine in restaurant, International cuisine in restaurant: Good options.
- Bottle of water: Essential.
*I am not much of a soup person, but I *might* try it.*
Things to Do & Ways to Relax: Does Paradise Actually Deliver on the Fun?
Now, this is where a resort either soars or faceplants. "Escape to Paradise" better deliver on the "Paradise" part. Let's break it down:
- Swimming pool [outdoor], Pool with view: Must-haves. I'll be judging the architecture of it.
- Spa, Sauna, Steamroom, Massage, Body scrub, Body wrap: Okay, okay, I'm starting to like this. Give me all the pampering!
- Fitness center, Gym/fitness: For those moments when you feel guilty about all the cocktails.
- Foot bath: Interesting.
- Terrace: Gotta take a break.
- Shrine: I like the idea of this more.
The "Ugh, I Need Stuff" Category: Services & Conveniences
This section is about convenience. How easy will this all be?
- Concierge: Great for bookings and directions.
- Cash withdrawal, Currency exchange, Cashless payment service: Necessary.
- Daily housekeeping: Very nice.
- Laundry service, Ironing service, Dry cleaning: Life-savers on vacation.
- Luggage storage: Essential before/after a flight.
- Food delivery: Yes please.
- Convenience store, Gift/souvenir shop: Great options to browse through.
- Car park [free of charge], Car park [on-site]: A big help.
- Taxi service: Sometimes necessary.
- Airport transfer: Essential.
- Business facilities, Meeting/banquet facilities, Seminars: A little less applicable to me.
- Indoor and outdoor venues for special events: I will note this.
- Babysitting service, Family/child friendly, Kids facilities, Kids meal: Nice to see.
My Hot Take (The Honest Stuff):
Alright, so, judging from this list, Escape to Paradise: Fernvale Leisure Club & Resort is promising. It sounds like they've really put some work in to offer a luxury experience. My biggest hopes: that the facilities are spotless, the staff is awesome, the food is amazing, and the cocktails are strong! I'm picturing myself, lounging by that outdoor pool, cocktail in hand, with the sunset painting the sky with all sorts of ridiculous colors. Aaaaaah.
The Quirky Observation: I love that they have a Proposal spot on their list. Maybe I should bring someone… or maybe I just make it a solo proposal to a particularly delicious dessert.
My Personal Recommendation (This Is Where It Gets Real):
Okay, so, if you're looking for a place to truly unwind, a place with potential for some serious chill-out time and a touch of luxury, I'd say Escape to Paradise: Fernvale Leisure Club & Resort is worth a look. But… and this is a big but… make sure to specifically inquire about the accessibility. Seriously. I want to hear all about it!
The Marketing-y, But Actually-Useful Offer (That Actually Makes Me Want to Book):
Escape to Paradise: Fernvale Leisure Club & Resort is offering a special summer package for couples. It includes:
- 4 nights in a Soundproof Suite! Seriously, take the quiet!
- Daily Breakfast [buffet] for two. Fuel up for the adventures!
- A couples massage in the spa, with the added benefit of Sauna access. Because everyone deserves a little pampering
- Free Wi-Fi All the way!
- Complimentary Cocktail Hour. Cheers!
- A free upgrade if you mention this review when booking! Come on, it is free!
Why Book Now?
Because, honestly, life is too short for boring vacations. You deserve a chance to escape, to relax, to recharge. Escape to Paradise: Fernvale Leisure Club & Resort promises that, and who am I to argue with a promise of sunshine, cocktails, and a little bit of paradise?
Ready to escape? Book your stay at Escape to Paradise: Fernvale Leisure Club & Resort today! - link needed!
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Okay, buckle up buttercups, because this Fernvale Leisure Club & Resort Palawan itinerary is about to get REAL. Forget perfectly curated Instagram feeds, we're diving headfirst into the glorious, messy, and utterly unpredictable reality of vacationing. Prepare for a rollercoaster of emotions, questionable decisions, and enough anecdotes to fill a small novel.
Fernvale Frenzy: A Palawan Pandemonium (or, My Attempt to Chill and Failing Spectacularly)
Day 1: Arrival and the Great Mosquito Massacre of '24
- 11:00 AM: Manila airport. Oh, the sweet, sweet chaos. Delayed flight? Naturally. But hey, it gave me more time to people-watch. Filipinos are masters of resilience, and I swear, every single one of them has a story in their eyes. Found a little kare-kare joint in the terminal and inhaled it – needed fuel for the travel.
- 2:00 PM: Arrived at El Nido Airport. Tiny! Cute! Immediately overwhelmed by the humidity. My hair is already rebelling, forming some sort of sentient, frizz-fueled entity.
- 3:00 PM: Taxi to Fernvale. The driver? A local fella named Jun. Jun was a talker! Told me all about the history of El Nido, the best halo-halo spots (mental note!), and the rampant corruption of the local government. Welcome to paradise, right?
- 4:00 PM: Check-in. Fernvale is beautiful. Like, postcard-worthy. Bungalow with a porch overlooking the water. I envisioned quiet evenings, sipping cocktails, writing profound thoughts in my journal. Hah!
- 5:00 PM: The Mosquito Massacre. I swear, those little bloodsuckers were waiting for me. I was DEVOURED. Anti-mosquito spray? A joke. Even my blood seemed to be on the menu. I’m talking welts the size of grapes!
- 6:00 PM: Dinner at the resort restaurant. Staring longingly at the sinigang (sour soup) while scratching furiously. Tried to be all sophisticated and order a cocktail, but the mosquito situation had already won. Ended up ordering a beer. Had to keep myself hydrated as my blood was being drunk
- 7:00 PM: Attempted relaxation on the porch. Abandoned the journal. Instead, I was frantically swatting and contemplating building a giant mosquito net fort.
- 9:00 PM: Passed out from exhaustion and bug bites. My first night in paradise!
Day 2: Islands, Sunburn, and the Existential Crisis of Sandcastles
- 8:00 AM: Wake up! The sunrise was gorgeous. The mosquito bites? Not so much. Immediately slathered myself in sunscreen. (Lesson learned from yesterday's sunburn: DO NOT underestimate the Palawan sun.)
- 9:00 AM: Island hopping tour booked. (Important Note: Never listen to the early bird. I was totally scammed as our boat was late and so overcrowded.) First stop: Hidden Beach. Holy moly. Crystal clear water, pristine sand. I felt like I was in a movie! (Unfortunately, so did everyone else.)
- 10:00 AM: Snorkeling. Saw some fish! Some colorful corals! Almost choked on seawater trying to be cool and dive deep. The existential crisis of the beach. Where did I even come from?
- 11:00 AM: Lunch on a secluded beach. Grilled seafood. So good! But the sand! Ugh! It was everywhere. In my hair, in my teeth, in places I didn't even know sand could go.
- 12:00 PM: El Nido Big Lagoon. The water was a stunning shade of emerald green. Kayaked. Nearly capsized because I started taking photos. I took 30 mins to actually stand still in the lagoon to breathe properly.
- 2:00 PM: Secret Lagoon. More stunning water. More people.
- 4:00 PM: Back to Fernvale. My skin was yelling, but my soul was singing. Went to a local store to buy a proper after-sun lotion.
- 5:00 PM: Attempted to build a sandcastle. Epic fail. My sandcastle looked like a sad, misshapen blob. I decided the ocean was secretly jealous of my architectural ineptitude and intentionally destroyed it.
- 6:00 PM: Sunset drinks at the bar. Watched the vibrant colors paint the sky. This is what I came for! Pure bliss.
- 8:00 PM: Dinner. Ate too much. Maybe the lobster was a little too expensive.
- 9:00 PM: Passed out again, dreaming of beaches, fish, and revenge on those infernal mosquitos (they won't win).
Day 3: The Great Cliff Climb of Despair and the Search for True Relaxation
- 9:00 AM: Woke up feeling refreshed. (Mosquitoes, what mosquitoes?) Decided this was the day I'd embrace the "active" side of vacationing. So, against my better judgment…hired a guide to hike a cliff.
- 10:00 AM: The climb. Oh. My. God. It was steep. It was HOT. I'm talking rope-climbing, rock-scrambling, near-death experiences (okay, maybe slightly exaggerated). Views were stunning. But I mostly focused on not falling.
- 12:00 PM: Made it to the top! The panorama was truly breathtaking. (As was my breathlessness.) I took a picture, then promptly sat down and refused to move for a good 15 minutes.
- 1:00 PM: Lunch. Devoured my baon like my life depended on it. Needed to replenish serious energy reserves.
- 2:00 PM: Back to Fernvale. Showered for what felt like an eternity.
- 3:00 PM: Spa time! Finally! I had booked a massage, so I did the face masks. I fell asleep and snored, and then the therapist had to lightly shake me awake. I'd really thought I would be relaxed.
- 5:00 PM: Still feeling my muscles from the cliff.
- 6:00 PM: Dinner. Decided to treat myself to a kinilaw (raw fish in vinegar). Delicious and a small slice of heaven.
- 7:00 PM: Actually tried to write in my journal. Failed. My brain was exhausted. Instead, I just stared out at the ocean, feeling a strange mix of contentment and anxiety.
- 9:00 PM: Slept. (But this time, the mosquito wars were over. I knew I had been victorious).
Day 4: Departure and the Bitter-Sweet Farewell
- 8:00 AM: Last breakfast. Feeling surprisingly sad to leave.
- 9:00 AM: Spent the morning trying to find gifts. Buying tons of souvenirs.
- 11:00 AM: Taxi to the airport. Jun the driver again! He asked how my trip was.
- 1:00 PM: Flight back to Manila.
- 3:00 PM: Landed in Manila. Feeling exhausted, sun-kissed, and a little bit heartbroken to leave.
Overall:
Fernvale was amazing! The staff was lovely. The views? Incredible. The mosquitos? Evil. Would I go back? Absolutely. Would I do things differently? Definitely. (More bug spray, for sure.) I've come away with a clearer understanding of the kind of holiday I want and the need to step outside of my boundaries This trip wasn't perfect, and it wasn't always easy. But it was real. And that, my friends, is what made it unforgettable.
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Is Fernvale Really "Paradise"? Because, you know, advertising...
Alright, let's be honest, folks. "Paradise?" They're *trying*! Look, it's Palawan, so the baseline is already pretty darn good. The water's that unreal turquoise, the sunsets are Instagram catnip (even *I* post those), and there's definitely a certain... *something* in the air that makes you want to ditch your responsibilities and chug a San Miguel. But... is it Eden? Nah. My first impression? The reception area felt a little bit like a doctor’s waiting room, the bright lights and plastic chairs really sucked the paradise out of the equation. But hey, at least it had air-conditioning. So, Paradise-adjecent? Maybe.
What are the rooms like? Did I make a mistake booking that Premium Seaview?
Okay, the rooms. This is where things get…interesting. I booked a “Deluxe Double” for a last minute getaway. Picture this: I get to my room, and the first thing I see is a massive stain on the carpet. *sigh* It looked like someone lost a battle with a family-sized fruit punch. I mean, come on! The rest of the room was…adequate. The bed was comfy enough, but the pillows were a bit flat, like that one friend who always leaves a party early. The view, however, was pretty spectacular. Seaview? Absolutely. Worth the extra dough? I’m still on the fence. I’m pretty sure the walls were paper thin, I could hear the couple next door arguing about how many mangoes they should buy. So, you know, romance at its finest. The Premium Seaview ones, though, I heard they were a bit better. Maybe you didn't make a mistake, maybe you're just lucky.
How's the food? I'm a picky eater, and my partner is a foodie snob.
The food... Ah, the eternal question. Buffet life is strong here. You've got your basics: rice (tons of rice!), some grilled fish, the ever-present adobo (which can be hit or miss, depending on the day), and a few…interesting…attempts at international cuisine. My advice? Don't expect Michelin stars. Embrace the local flavors. Try the *kinilaw* (fish ceviche) – it's often pretty decent. If your partner is a food snob, just tell them to lower their expectations. They’ll probably be fine. I did, the first thing my partner did was complain about the lack of artisanal bread, which, honestly, is the one thing you REALLY need in a paradise hotel. Anyway. Just stick to the familiar stuff. And watch out for the mystery meat. Seriously. I think I saw it move once.
What can I *actually* do at Fernvale? Besides, you know, breathing.
Okay, beyond the gloriously obvious "relaxing and staring at the ocean," Fernvale has some options. They've got a pool, which is nice, though it can get crowded. I swear, one day I saw a baby doing a backstroke at the age of 3 months. Seriously, I was scared. You can snorkel, which is a must – the coral reefs are… well, they’re there. They have boat trips. Do them. You can organize them through the resort, or haggle with the guys on the beach. They'll try to rip you off, but that's half the fun. Then there’s the spa… I had a massage, and it was…okay. Not the worst massage I've ever had, not the best. A bit like the rooms, really - Adequate.
Is it kid-friendly? I'm bringing the entire zoo... I mean, my family.
Yep, it's kid-friendly. There’s a dedicated kids’ pool, which is good. There are areas where kids can run amock. So that's a plus. Lots of families. So, be prepared for the joyous sounds of children at play. Translation: screaming. But hey, if you're a parent, you're probably used to it. If you're not a parent, bring earplugs. Actually, bring earplugs regardless. The sounds of the karaoke bar at night... *shudders*
Is there Wi-Fi? Because, let's be honest, I'm addicted.
Oh, the Wi-Fi. Prepare for a rollercoaster of emotions. It *exists*. Sometimes. In the lobby, mostly. Near the bar. Mostly. It's like trying to catch a shy butterfly. Expect to refresh everything a *lot*. Basically, embrace the digital detox. Or, you know, just buy a local SIM card. But honestly, for the sanity of everyone around you, maybe just put down the phone for a bit. Look around. Breathe in the actual air. It's kind of, you know, nice.
Is it worth the money? Am I going to regret this?
Okay, the big question, the one that keeps us all up at night... Is it worth it? Look, it depends. If you're looking for pristine luxury and a flawless experience, probably not. If you're looking for a beautiful location, some relaxed vibes, decent food, and a chance to actually *unplug* (whether you want to or not), then Fernvale is worth a visit. I wouldn't say I *regretted* going. Would I go back? Maybe. If I needed a solid dose of Vitamin Sea and wasn't expecting perfection? Definitely. It's not perfect, it's not always smooth sailing, but it's still Palawan. And Palawan, even with its imperfections, is pretty darn special. So, go. Just temper your expectations. And bring fruit punch stain remover – you know, just in case.
Tell me about the day I got trapped in the lift...
Alright, here's the story. I was on my way down to the lobby, on a quest to investigate the Wi-Fi. It was a Tuesday, around 4pm, the air was thick with humidity, and I *really* needed to check my emails. Everything was normal, then *bam!* The elevator ground to a halt. I hit the emergency button. Silence. I hit it again. Nothing. Starting to sweat a little, right? Okay, maybe a lot. I started calling for help. The only sound was, well, my panicked breathing. Five minutes passed, then ten. The air was getting stale, and my phone's battery was, of course, on red. Finally, a small voice, clearly a child, called from behind the door. "Are you stuck?" I screamedBest Stay Blogspot
