Escape to Paradise: Gilbert Desjardins' Mont Laurier Getaway!
Alright, buckle up buttercups, because we're about to dive headfirst into Escape to Paradise: Gilbert Desjardins' Mont Laurier Getaway! – and I'm not promising a perfectly polished review here. Think more like… a slightly tipsy travel journal that just might convince you to book a trip. (Spoiler alert: it probably will.)
So, first things first, let's talk Access. Now, I'm not in a wheelchair, but I always pay attention to this because, let's be real, accessibility is just good hospitality. The website hints that they’ve got facilities for disabled guests, which is promising. But, and this is a big but, I’d totally recommend giving them a call before you book, just to make sure it truly fits your needs. Don't be shy! Ask the tough questions – are the public areas truly accessible? Are the rooms? This isn't just about ramps; it's about feeling included.
Before I get carried away, let's address the elephant in the room: Internet. Okay, internet is a must for me, especially when I'm "working" (read: mostly catching up on cat videos). Thank goodness for Free Wi-Fi in all rooms! and Wi-Fi in public areas. I need to know if I can actually work, in case someone's checking in on my LinkedIn. The reviews say it’s decent, which is a relief because there's nothing worse than a flaky connection when you're trying to finally finish that novel, or at least a blog post. Internet [LAN]? I mean, I guess if you're a dinosaur.
Now, the good stuff. Let's get into the Things to do, ways to relax section. Okay, here's where Escape to Paradise starts to sound… well, paradisiacal. They've got a Swimming pool [outdoor], which is mandatory, and a Pool with a view!! That's a huge plus. Think: floating in the water, sipping a cocktail (more on that later), and pretending you're a character in a very stylish commercial. There's also a Gym/fitness center, if you're into torturing yourself on vacation. I, personally, am more into the Spa. And the list goes on: Sauna, Spa/sauna, Steamroom, Body scrub, Body wrap, Foot bath – oh my god, sign me up for all of it. This is the kind of place where you actually want to get pampered.
The Spa Experience - My Moment, or Catastrophe?
Okay, deep breath. Prepare yourself for a rambling, potentially over-shared story about the Spa. I went for the body wrap. Now, I’m not going to lie, my expectations were sky-high – visions of being swathed in fragrant seaweed, emerging a revitalized goddess. The reality? Well…
First off, the scent. It wasn't like the "calm, earthy" you'd expect. It was… potent. I’m pretty sure it was a mix of lavender, something vaguely pine-y, and possibly desperation. The therapist was sweet, bless her heart, but she seemed a little… flustered. I’m blaming it on me. I’m not the easiest person to wrap, especially when I’m trying not to laugh. The wrap itself was… interesting. It was tight. So tight I was pretty sure my blood circulation had stopped.
Then I was told to lie there for 30 minutes. I closed my eyes, determined to embrace the experience. But, (and this is where it goes downhill), I had, clearly, consumed too much coffee before my treatment. The urge to pee was intense. This became, the longest thirty minutes of my life. I was wriggling, I was contemplating escape, I was mentally composing a tweet that would make the whole ordeal go viral.
Finally, the therapist came back. She unwrapped me (slowly). I was free! And needed the toilet, desperately. I raced, I made it, and after, I was probably the happiest I had ever been after leaving a spa. I emerged from the experience feeling… refreshed. And, even though it wasn’t quite the blissful experience I'd imagined, I'd do it again. That’s how good the rest of the place is!
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking – Are They Worth It?
Alright, fuel up, folks. Food is important, and Escape to Paradise clearly gets that. So many choices!
- Restaurants: Multiple choices? Yes, please!
- A la carte in restaurant: always better than a buffet.
- Coffee shop: My weakness.
- Desserts in restaurant: must try.
- Poolside bar: Crucial!
- Buffet in restaurant: fine if you're hungover.
- Snack bar: So you can get a quick bite.
- Bars: Drinks, and even more drinks!
They have Asian cuisine in restaurant, and Vegetarian restaurant which is a good sign, and you have to order something. Not the health food, but something special.
Cleanliness and Safety – Because We Live in a World Now, Apparently
Let's be real, post-pandemic, we all care about cleanliness. And Escape to Paradise seems to have taken it seriously. Big thumbs up for Anti-viral cleaning products, Professional-grade sanitizing services, Daily disinfection in common areas, and staff trained in safety protocol. Room sanitization opt-out available… amazing. They're actually taking care. Cashless payment service is another win, making things easier.
The Other Stuff…
- Rooms sanitized between stays: Good.
- Breakfast [buffet]: depends on the quality.
- Breakfast takeaway service: great for early starts.
- Room service [24-hour]: A life-saver.
- Facilities for disabled guests: Need to be confirmed
- On-site event hosting: Cool if you're into that.
- Elevator: Crucial.
- Air conditioning in public area: Wonderful.
Now for the Rooms – What's It Like to Actually Stay There?
Okay, let’s get down to the nitty-gritty. The rooms need to be good because you will be spending a good chunk of time there. The website has these features: Air conditioning (essential!), Blackout curtains (because sleep is precious), Coffee/tea maker, Free bottled water, a Refrigerator (for my emergency chocolate stash), and – most importantly – Wi-Fi [free]. It has a Private bathroom to do your business in and a Shower is a good one. The Extra long bed is perfect for a tall dude.
What's the Catch? Ok, the Pitch! The Persuasion! This is Where I Try to Sell You!
Look, I'm not going to lie, Escape to Paradise: Gilbert Desjardins' Mont Laurier Getaway! isn't perfect. The spa, as I described, could use a little work. But the pros vastly outweigh the cons. It's a place that actually tries to give you a great experience – and succeeds, mostly. The setting is beautiful, the staff seem genuinely friendly, and there’s enough to do (or not do) to keep you happy for days.
Here's the deal: Book your stay at Escape to Paradise now! Seriously. They’re offering (or at least should be offering, check the website, I'm not in charge here!) all sorts of deals and packages.
Why should you go?
- Unwind: Escape the everyday grind and lose yourself in the spa.
- Dine Divine: Get your fill of Asian cuisine and desserts.
- Find your Zen: The pool, the sauna, the steamroom – your body will thank you.
- Recharge: Kick back in rooms with all the usuals, with the peace of mind of health and safety.
- Do nothing, if that's your thing too (I won't judge).
Don't wait! This is your chance to escape, to treat yourself, to finally relax and maybe… just maybe… have a slightly messy, wonderfully memorable time. Go on, book it. You deserve it. And afterwards, tell me what you thought?
StayEasy Pretoria: Your Perfect Pretoria Getaway (South Africa)
Alright, buckle up buttercups, because this isn't your grandma's meticulously planned itinerary. We're going to Mont Laurier, QC, to the Gite au Pied du Courant de Gilbert Desjardins. And trust me, I need this trip more than Gilbert needs me. Let's get this show on the road… a little bit… okay, a lot bit late.
Day 1: Quebec - Hello, Tiny Town! (And a Sarcastic Welcome)
- Morning (…eventually): The alarm screeches. I hit snooze. Twice. Three times. Okay, fine, four. Finally haul myself out of bed, a symphony of groans and existential dread. The plan was to leave at 7 am, but hey, who am I kidding? It's now 9:30. Still, coffee is brewed, bagels are toasted, and the car is packed…mostly. I can't find my favorite sunglasses. This is a bad omen. I suspect they're judging my life choices.
- Mid-Morning (Road Trip Blues): Get the car started. Radio is on, playing the same songs as yesterday. The drive is gorgeous, to be fair, but I'm already getting an itch. I see the Canadian flag and all those lovely rolling Quebec hills and it's making me feel…well, like I should be enjoying myself, but so far, I'm not feeling it. I'm hungry again. Should have grabbed that extra bagel. Curse you, future me, for not making better breakfast choices! Also, is that a billboard advertising… lumber? Welcome to Quebec, indeed.
- Lunch (A Stop, Maybe?): Decide to push on, and maybe grab a bite at a roadside diner. I swear, these little diners are the same across the whole of Quebec! I am in a terrible mood, hungry, a little stressed, and already feeling like this trip is doomed.
- Afternoon (The Arrival… or a Near Disaster): Finally, pull up to the Gite. Okay, its cute. Everything is a little too cute, if you ask me. Gilbert is there, a charming, slightly eccentric man who clearly loves this place. He's a warm, welcoming person and it's already starting to rub off on me. I feel better already. The place is… well, let's just say it's rustic. Really, really rustic. A little bit of a "lived in" vibe, if you get me. Apparently, the "hot tub" is a glorified plastic kiddie pool with jets. And the Wi-Fi? Let's just say my phone is currently more useful as a paperweight.
- Evening (Embracing the Chaos): Dinner is… interesting. A hearty stew, which smells delicious but tastes like a pot made by a witch, but I eat it anyway. Gilbert regales me with stories of his life. They range from hilarious to slightly concerning. I learn more about him in an hour than I've learned about my own family in a lifetime. His wife, the woman behind the amazing decor, is a quiet, steady presence, the Yin to Gilbert's Yang. And you can tell she loves him, despite his eccentricities. He claims to have built the whole place himself and I believe him. Tonight, there is some drinking.
Day 2: Mont Laurier - Hiking, Hot Tubs (Sort of), and Existential Dread
- Morning (Nature's Call… and Disappointment): Wake up feeling… well, a little fragile. That stew. That wine. Ugh. Gilbert suggests a hike. I grumble, but agree. The hike is beautiful, through towering pines into the wilderness. My mood starts to lift…a little. The air is fresh. The views are stunning. But I quickly realize I'm not in shape for this. I am tired and exhausted.
- Afternoon (The "Hot Tub" Debacle): Back at the Gite, desperate for some relaxation, I summon the courage to try the "hot tub." It's… underwhelming. The jets sputter. The water is lukewarm. The whole thing is just slightly sad. I spend the next hour just staring. I’m seriously considering just going to bed, but Gilbert is too chatty for that.
- Evening (The Evening): Dinner is amazing. Gilbert is telling another story. Not quite a tall tale, and not quite a lie. He's telling it with such a passion, such a gleam in his eyes, I can't help but listen. The place feels welcoming. I feel a little less chaotic.
- Night (Looking at the Stars and Thinking…): The real reason I came on this trip. I stare at the sky with stars I’m sure I’ve never seen before. The silence and the vastness of the sky remind me that I am just a small part of something big and that I need not worry about the chaos.
Day 3: Mont Laurier - Farewell (and Maybe a Secret Wish to Stay)
- Morning (Breakfast with Gilbert): Awkward, a little hungover. The coffee is strong. Gilbert is already buzzing. He shares his breakfast, which I swear is the same stew as the first night in different forms, but it's delicious. This time.
- Mid-Morning: (The Actual, Actual Goodbye): The "Real" goodbye. A heartfelt hug. A promise to come back. I leave with a heavy heart and a light head. Already miss the place, which seems stupid.
- Afternoon (The drive back): The drive back is bittersweet. I consider the road ahead of me. I think about all the things I still need to do. I look back on the last few days and realize that I'm going home with more than I came. I think about life and what I want to change and what I want to say.
- Evening (Home… and the Aftermath): Home. My usual routine. But something is different inside of me.
Final Thoughts (or Just Rambling):
Look, this trip wasn't perfect, not by a long shot. There were moments of frustration, a lot of physical (and mental) exhaustion, and a whole lot of "what the heck am I doing?" But somewhere amidst the chaos, the quirky charm, and the questionable hot tub situation, I felt… something. Connection. Peace. Maybe even a little bit of… joy? Gilbert, you beautiful, slightly crazy man, you've done it. You've helped me, you lovely Quebecois devil. And for that, thank you. (Now, if you'll excuse me, I need a nap…)
Escape to Paradise: Safe House #3, Trang's Hidden Gem!
So, what *exactly* is this "Escape to Paradise"? Sounds kinda generic, doesn't it?
Alright, so "Escape to Paradise"... picture this: a slightly-too-enthusiastic brochure, a map that looked like it was drawn by a caffeinated squirrel, and Gilbert Desjardins promising, and I quote, "unparalleled tranquility and communion with nature." My first thought? "Gilbert, buddy, have you *been* outdoors lately?" Anyway, it's essentially a rental cabin experience in Mont Laurier. Think rustic, think… well, we'll get to "rustic" later. It's *marketed* as a blissful retreat. My experience? Let's just say my blood pressure went up more than my enjoyment.
Okay, so what's the actual cabin like? They always look so idyllic in photos.
Oh, the photos. They are *lies*. Stunning, perfectly-lit, every-leaf-in-place lies. The *actual* cabin? Well, the exterior was charming, I'll give them that. You know, the kind of charm that screams "needs a good power wash and maybe some structural reinforcements." Inside… let's just say my first encounter with a spider the size of my thumb was memorable. And by "memorable," I mean I screamed like a banshee and almost set the place on fire trying to kill it. The "fully equipped kitchen"? More like "kitchen equipped with two mismatched plates and a questionable-looking whisk." I spent the first hour hunting for a decent coffee mug. The *one* mug I found? Had a chip. A *chip*! Paradise, Gilbert? Try "slightly-damaged disappointment."
Was the location itself nice? Like, the surrounding nature? That’s usually the saving grace, right?
Okay, *this* is where it gets complicated. Mont Laurier *itself*… that's beautiful. The trees, the lake… when the sun's out, it’s genuinely breathtaking. I mean, *stunning*. I found *one* perfect spot, along the lakeside, where the autumn leaves were like a watercolor painting. I sat there for, like, an hour and just… breathed. It's the *promise* of the nature, you see, that’s so seductive. But the cabin? It wasn’t *in* that paradise. It was like a slightly-burnt cookie sitting next to a gourmet meal. And the mosquitos? God help you. They were relentless. Merciless. I swear, I felt like the main course at an insect buffet. But yeah, the potential was there. The *potential* was there.
What about the activities? Did you actually *do* anything?
Activities? Oh, Gilbert offered "hiking trails" and "canoeing adventures." The "hiking trails" turned out to be a slightly-worn path that led to a swamp and a small tree. I got attacked by more bugs. The "canoeing adventure"? Well, that's where things *really* went downhill. I tried to *canoeing*, and I say "tried", because I never used it before. Seriously. I looked like a complete idiot. Picture this: me, flailing around in a canoe like a baby giraffe learning to walk, paddling in circles, almost capsizing… and the worst part? I was doing it in front of a family of ducks. They were judging me, I swear! They probably went back to the nest and told the duck chicks about the weirdo in the orange life vest. Moral of the story? I should have stayed inside and contemplated the chip in my coffee mug.
Okay, so, overall, would you recommend it? Be honest!
Honestly? *No*. Not in its current state. Maybe if they fixed some structural issues, exterminated the spider population, upgraded the kitchen, and threw in a free canoe lesson… then *maybe*. But as it stands? It's a nice idea, poorly executed. If you're looking for a truly relaxing escape, maybe... try a different "Escape to Paradise". Or, you know, just stay home. It's probably safer, and definitely less buggy. And for the love of all that is holy, Gilbert, lose the brochure. It's selling a fantasy.
Should I bring anything specific?
Bring EVERYTHING. Seriously. Bring your own coffee, because decent coffee is a *necessity* for dealing with the "Escape to Paradise." Bring bug spray – the strongest stuff you can find, because the mosquitos there are like miniature air-to-air missiles. Bring a can opener. Bring a flashlight – the lighting in that place is… atmospheric, shall we say. Bring a first aid kit, because you *will* cut yourself on something. Probably the chipped mug. And most importantly? Bring a sense of humor. You *will* need it. You're going to need a strong one to deal with this. I needed a stiff drink – and a therapist – afterwards.
Did you actually *like* anything about the place? Come on, there must have been *something* good!
Okay, okay, alright. Fine. I *did* enjoy the peace, mostly. Once I was *inside* the cabin, after I'd sprayed myself in bug spray, after I'd built a little fort of blankets and pillows to keep the spiders out... yes, the peace was nice. I mean, I got to turn off my phone for a few days, and that *was* pretty great. It was a chance to breathe, to unplug, to not be constantly bombarded with the noise of modern life. Except that, it was also a place for the spiders. But, you know, in those moments, I had a nice time. Also, I saw a chipmunk. It was adorable. The chipmunk was a bonus point. Seriously, though, the peace – that's the only thing that really made it worthwhile. If you can find peace when you feel like you are in a survival challenge, that's good. Maybe a little therapy would help too.
