Escape to Paradise: Ubud Palace Poolside Luxury Awaits!
Escape to Paradise: Ubud Palace Poolside Luxury Awaits! – Is it REALLY Paradise? My Unfiltered Take!
Alright, buckle up buttercups, because I just got back from a stay at Escape to Paradise: Ubud Palace Poolside Luxury Awaits! and, well, let’s just say it was… an experience. And I’m here to spill the tea, the turmeric, and maybe a little bit of my own questionable sanity. This isn't your typical, polished review – I'm gonna give it to you real.
First Impressions & Accessibility (Or Lack Thereof… Slightly rambly start)
So, the name screams luxury, right? "Palace," "Paradise"… you're picturing yourself floating around on a fluffy cloud, being hand-fed grapes by a Balinese model. Let me just say, while the cloud part could be achieved after a few too many Mai Tais, the reality is a bit more… textured.
Accessibility is listed, so let's dive into this! The listing blabs about "Facilities for disabled guests". Okay, cool. But, and this is a BIG but, I didn't see a ton of obvious ramps or super wide doorways. I'm not in a wheelchair, so I can't fully vouch, and this feels like a HUGE oversight. Check. Before. You. Go. Folks. If you need it, triple-check. This is something that needs a SERIOUS looking into.
Getting Online & Staying Connected – Gotta Update That Insta
Internet Access? Oh yeah, they got it. Wi-Fi is FREE in all rooms! Praise the Wi-Fi Gods! I mean, who doesn’t need a solid Instagram game when they're “escaping to paradise”? The Wi-Fi in public areas worked okay, but seemed to hiccup now and then. The internet access – wireless in my room was pretty reliable, but I'm a internet access – LAN kinda gal, so the fact that they offered it made me happy, because it seemed like a more secure alternative. Internet services were available too. So, yeah, you’ll be able to document those poolside cocktails and those perfectly filtered sunsets.
Cleanliness & Safety - Did I Survive? (Spoiler: Yes!)
Okay, safety first (and I'm talking more than just dodging rogue scooters). They were REALLY pushing the safety angle, which, in these COVID times, is appreciated. Anti-viral cleaning products, daily disinfection in common areas, and room sanitization between stays – check, check, and check! Rooms sanitized between stays – YES! I felt safer. Really and sincerely. They had hand sanitizer stations EVERYWHERE (and honestly, I used them religiously, because you never know). Staff trained in safety protocol. Physical distancing of at least 1 meter – seemed to be respected (mostly – people are people, you know?). And there was a whole host of other safety protocols – so. Much. Detail. My anxiety, however, remained, which should have probably let me relax. They seemed SO prepared in every respect, from first aid kit to doctor/nurse on call, I should have relaxed.
Now, here comes the honest bit. The room… my room… it wasn't exactly spotless. You know, the kind of spotless that screams, "Someone has been on their hands and knees with a toothbrush!" The walls weren't perfectly clean… I could see a smudge or two. Am I being picky? Maybe. But it wasn't gleaming. However, I'd say it was definitely safe and I wasn't scared for my health.
Let's Talk Food, Glorious Food! (And Drinks!) – My Stomach's Tale of Woe
This is where things get interesting, and by interesting, I mean, my stomach went on a wild ride.
- Restaurants? YES! Lots!
- Asian cuisine in restaurant? YES! Delicious, and the best part of the stay.
- International cuisine in restaurant? YES! And hit or miss.
- Vegetarian restaurant? YES! Bless.
- Coffee/tea in restaurant: YES! I lived on it.
- Poolside bar? YES! My happy place.
- Bar? YES! I blame the bar for some of my questionable decisions… and for the fact I had a headache.
The breakfast [buffet] was a bit of a chaotic ballet. Breakfast [buffet] was definitely there, but the food quality was… inconsistent. One day the omelets were fluffy perfection; the next, they were… rubbery. The Western breakfast was fine; the Asian breakfast was where the magic happened. SO GOOD. They had buffet in restaurant - this didn't feel like a traditional buffet, and I could definitely tell there was individually-wrapped food options - which was a great perk and gave me a better sense of safety in this post-covid world. The coffee/tea in restaurant, however, was always on point. I was SO thankful for this.
Now, the serious stuff – the food. There was a salad in restaurant, which was good. There were desserts in restaurant. There was a snack bar for late-night munchies. The soup in restaurant was delicious, too. They had an a la carte in restaurant option, which was great. And the bottle of water waiting in the room was a lifesaver. I felt safe, knowing that the safe dining setup was top-notch.
The Pool – My Personal Oasis (and the Reason I Booked!)
The pool… the PICTURES. They were gorgeous. The pool with view… a definite selling point. And in reality? It's pretty darn close to what they show! Lush greenery, those Balinese vibes, and a view to die for. I spent HOURS there. It was truly amazing. So peaceful. Swimming pool [outdoor] - check, and again, check! Bliss.
Serenity Now! Relaxation & Activities – Let's Get Pampered!
Alright, let's talk about those promises of relaxation.
- Massage? YES! (and I may have booked one every day. Don't judge.) The Balinese massage was… sublime. The way they kneaded the knots out of my shoulders? Heavenly.
- Spa? YES!
- Spa/sauna? Not sure I saw a sauna, though.
- Fitness center? Yes, BUT small. It was a struggle to get to it.
- Gym/fitness? YES!
- Body scrub? YES.
- Body wrap? YES.
The Room: My Little Palace (with quirks!)
**Available in all rooms, *Additional toilet, Air conditioning, Alarm clock, Bathrobes, Bathroom phone, Bathtub, Blackout curtains, Carpeting, Closet, Coffee/tea maker, Complimentary tea, Daily housekeeping, Desk, Extra long bed, Free bottled water, Hair dryer, High floor, In-room safe box, Interconnecting room(s) available, Internet access – LAN, Internet access – wireless, Ironing facilities, Laptop workspace, Linens, Mini bar, Mirror, Non-smoking, On-demand movies, Private bathroom, Reading light, Refrigerator, Safety/security feature, Satellite/cable channels, Scale, Seating area, Separate shower/bathtub, Shower, Slippers, Smoke detector, Socket near the bed, Sofa, Soundproofing, Telephone, Toiletries, Towels, Umbrella, Visual alarm, Wake-up service, Wi-Fi [free], Window that opens.* So, lots of details!
My room? Not bad. Not bad at all. The air conditioning worked like a dream (thank goodness; Ubud heat is no joke). I loved the blackout curtains (slept like a baby!). And the free Wi-Fi was amazing. The bathtub in the giant bathroom was perfect for a soak after a day of exploring. Complimentary tea. Free bottled water. I did love the bathrobes and slippers!
However, (there's always a "however," isn't there?)… that bathroom phone? Seriously? Who uses a bathroom phone anymore? It felt a little dated, but functional, I suppose. The closet was spacious. The mini bar was stocked (expensive, but hey, convenience!). The smoke detector was there, which was good.
Services & Conveniences – Perks & Quirks
- Concierge? YES! Helpful folks.
- Daily housekeeping? YES! They even tidied my mess of clothing.
- Laundry service? YES! (essential after all those massages).
- Room service [24-hour]? YES! Perfect for those late-night cravings.
- Gift/souvenir shop? YES! But pricey.
- Currency exchange? YES! Convenient.
- Luggage storage? YES!
- Dry cleaning? YES!
- Doorman? YES! Always a friendly face.
Things to Do – Beyond the Pool!
The hotel offered all sorts of activities, but the real magic is outside the walls.
Timbavati's Hidden Gem: Geiger's Camp - Unbelievable Safari Awaits!
Okay, buckle up buttercups, because this isn't your grandma's itinerary. We're going to Bali, baby! In a Cozy Superior Room with a Pool near Ubud Palace. Sounds fancy, doesn't it? We'll see how fancy I feel when I’m covered in mosquito bites and questioning all my life choices.
BALI BUBBLE BATH: A MESSY, BEAUTIFUL ITINERARY
(Pre-Trip – AKA The Panic Phase)
- Days Before: Did I book travel insurance? (Ugh. Probably not. Note to self: add that to the list of things I'm definitely forgetting). Learn some basic Indonesian phrases. (Will probably end up saying "Terima Kasih" (thank you) to everything, even if someone tries to sell me a live iguana. It's my default. I'm a basic traveler, okay?) Obsessive googling of "Bali travel scams." (Spoiler alert: they're everywhere. My paranoia is building.) Pack. Then unpack. Then panic-pack again. Realize I'm bringing way too many shoes and not enough bug spray.
(Day 1: Arrival - Paradise Begins (Or Does It?))
- Morning: Land at Denpasar Airport (DPS). The humidity hits you like a wall of warm, fragrant laundry. Instantly melt. Navigate immigration. (Pray for a stamp that doesn't look like a drunken hippo ran over it). Find my pre-booked transfer. (Hopefully it IS pre-booked. Pray to the travel gods. Again.)
- Afternoon: Arrive at the hotel. Cozy Superior Room with Pool, here I come! (Will it be as idyllic as the pictures? Probably not. Hotels always lie.) Check in. Struggle to understand the Balinese staff. (Their English is usually better than my brain's ability to process anything after 20 hours of travel.)
- Afternoon: Drop my luggage. Immediately seek out the pool. Dunk. Sigh of profound relief. Feel the travel grime wash away (or, at least, try to).
- Late Afternoon/Early Evening: Wander around Ubud. Find a cute warung (small local restaurant). Order something I think is food. It's probably delicious. It usually is. Observe the insane traffic – scooters everywhere! – and marvel at my own bravery for even considering getting on one. The sheer chaos is both terrifying and exhilarating. Grab dinner, maybe some gado-gado. Watch the sunset over the rice paddies, trying not to be a completely cheesy tourist. (Fail.) Get utterly lost on the way back to the hotel. Wander down a dark alleyway. Vow never to leave the resort again. (Probably a lie.)
(Day 2: Culture Shock and Coconut Dreams)
- Morning: Wake up. (Hopefully not to the sound of a rooster having a full-blown existential crisis). Breakfast at the hotel. (Probably a buffet. I am a sucker for buffets. No shame.)
- Morning: Visit Ubud Palace. (Briefly, because, let's be honest, I'm more interested in the shopping.) Try, and fail, to look sophisticated while admiring the traditional Balinese architecture. Take a blurry photo. Forget to turn off the flash.
- Afternoon: The Tegalalang Rice Terraces (AKA Instagram Heaven). Prepare to battle crowds. (Prepare for the worst. Hope for the best.) Snap a million photos. Get vertigo. Almost fall off the edge. Regain composure. Buy a ridiculously overpriced coconut. Drink it. Feel reborn.
- Afternoon: Spend far too long haggling for a scarf at the Ubud Art Market. Overpay. Regret the purchase later. Pretend to be incredibly happy with my bargain. (This is a life skill, people.)
- Late Afternoon/Early Evening: Take an incredibly amateur yoga class. Wobble around like a drunk flamingo. Get horribly embarrassed. Discover I am profoundly inflexible. Swear I will become a yoga master. (I won't.) Head back to the pool. Soak away the humiliation.
- Evening: Find a restaurant. Try to use my Indonesian. Probably butcher it. Order more gado-gado, because, well, it's delicious. Contemplate the meaning of life while watching fire dancers. (Which, let's be honest, is the real reason I came to Bali.)
(Day 3: Sacred Water and Spiritual Awakenings…Maybe.)
- Morning: Tirta Empul Temple (Holy Water Temple). Prepare to get wet. (Literally). Follow the purification ritual. Get pushed around by other tourists. Feel vaguely spiritual. Or maybe just cold. Wonder if the water is actually clean. (Probably not, but hey, it's Bali.)
- Afternoon: Drive to a local village. (Probably get lost a few times. Probably get honked at by a scooter. That's the spirit of Bali). Witness a traditional Balinese dance. Get completely lost in the artistry. Almost cry from the beauty. Don't actually cry, because, again, public displays of emotion. (Unless you're being spiritually cleansed.)
- Afternoon: Stroll through a spa. The ultimate indulgence. Get a massage. (Probably fall asleep and snore. Sorry, masseuse!) Feel utterly blissed out. Question the sanity of returning to real life.
- Late Afternoon/Early Evening: Discover the "Monkey Forest" (AKA the realm of the adorby-yet-menacing primates). Observe their brazen behavior. Get my sunglasses stolen by a cheeky little monkey. Curse under my breath. (That's karma for you, pal.)
- Evening: Indulge in some delicious Indonesian food like Nasi Goreng and Gado-Gado.
(Day 4: A Day of Self-Discovery (and Maybe, Just Maybe, Surfing?))
- Morning: Try my hand at surfing at a local beach. (Kuta. The scene of many a dramatic wipeout.) Fall. A lot. Swallow saltwater. Get sand everywhere. Consider giving up. (But then, the thrill! The feeling! The sea!)
- Afternoon: If still alive (and not completely sunburnt), relax, maybe take a nap.
- Afternoon: Take a Balinese cooking class. Learn to make some of those delicious dishes. Probably burn something. (It's okay. We've all been there.)
- Late Afternoon/Early Evening: Explore the sunset at Tanah Lot Temple. (Another tourist trap, but a beautiful one.) Watch the sun dip into the sea. Feel a pang of melancholic joy. (Vacations are the best and worst, right?)
- Evening: Reflect on the entire journey - The ups, the downs, the near-disasters, the incredible memories. Write down everything on your travel journal or any notepad (or even your phone).
(Day 5: The Farewell (and the Planning of the Next Trip))
- Morning: One last breakfast. One last dip in the pool (because, let's face it, that's what it's all about). Pack. Try to cram all the souvenirs into my suitcase. (Fail. I'm going to have to buy a second suitcase, aren't I?)
- Late Morning: Check out. Say goodbye to the staff. (Maybe shed a tiny, sentimental tear.)
- Afternoon: Head to the airport. Navigate the chaos. Go through security. Wait for my flight.
- Afternoon: Board the plane. Think about the wonderful memories made!
- Flight Home: Plan my next trip to Bali. (Because, let's be honest, that island gets under your skin.)
- Home: Get home. Unpack. Start missing Bali immediately. Start making plans to revisit.
Caveats and Confessions:
- This itinerary is a suggestion, not a law. Feel free to ditch it at any point. Embrace the spontaneity! (Or the feeling of utter lostness, which, let's be honest, is also part of the adventure.)
- The weather: Bali is tropical. It can rain. It might pour. Be prepared to get wet. And maybe a little grumpy.
- The food: Eat everything. Try new things. Be adventurous! (But maybe avoid the street food if you have a sensitive stomach. Just a thought.)
- The people: The Balinese are incredibly warm and welcoming. Be respectful of their culture. (And try not to haggle too aggressively. They're just trying to make a living.)
- The existential dread: It's okay to have moments of existential dread while staring at a volcano. It's part of the experience. (Just try to enjoy it.)
- Reality Check: This itinerary is going to need tweaking, improvising, and a healthy dose of "winging it." That's the fun of travel, right? So, let's get lost. Let's get messy. Let's have a Bali Bubble Bath of an adventure that's nothing short of unforgettable (or at least, a funny story to tell later).
Wish me luck! I'll need it.
Escape to Paradise: Eco-Luxury in La Tremblade, France!
Escape to Paradise: Ubud Palace Poolside Luxury Awaits! - (…Or Does It?) The Actual FAQs!
Okay, spill. Is Ubud Palace REALLY as glamorous as the brochure makes it out to be? I mean, the photos...
Alright, alright, buckle up, buttercup. Glamorous? Yeah, parts of it. Think carefully curated Instagram shots versus the messy reality you get *after* the filter. The pool? Stunning. Seriously, that turquoise water practically *glows* under the Balinese sun. And the grounds… well, they’re lush. Like, Jurassic Park lush, with every leaf seemingly polished to a perfect sheen. But then… then you remember you're a clumsy human. I almost wiped out on the wet stone path *twice* on the first day. First time, mortifying. Second time, I just laughed – because what else could you do? So, glamour's in there, nestled amongst the damp towels and the occasional rogue mosquito the size of a small bird.
What about the rooms? Are they truly luxurious? I'm picturing silk sheets and a butler who anticipates my every whim...
Silk sheets? Probably. I, frankly, was too busy battling jet lag and the slightly aggressive air conditioning to *notice* the thread count. But hey, they FELT nice, alright? Butler who anticipates your every whim? Okay, that's pushing it. You might get a friendly staff member who's super helpful (they *are* lovely, bless them!), but I wouldn't count on someone materializing with a fresh mango smoothie the second you think about one. (Though I *did* get a complimentary fruit platter that was basically paradise on a plate. So, score!) The rooms are spacious, beautifully decorated, and generally pretty darn comfortable. Just don't expect Buckingham Palace. Expect… Balinese charm with a serious dose of air conditioning. That's probably the real luxury, in the end.
The pool. The all-important pool. How crowded is it? Is it a relaxing oasis, or a splashing, screaming free-for-all?
Okay, let's talk pool. This is where things get... complicated. The *pool* itself is gorgeous. Seriously. That infinity edge? The view over the rice paddies? Perfection. The *people* in the pool... well, that depends on the time of day. Early mornings are bliss. You, the sun, the pool, a slightly grumpy-looking but still beautiful Buddha statue, and the sound of… almost nothing. Pure zen. Then… the kids wake up. And the splashing begins. And the screaming. And the inflatable flamingo drifts slowly into your personal space. Look, it's not *awful*, and the staff are super good at keeping things tidy. It just changes the vibe. Consider sneaking in some early morning swims, okay? Or maybe bring earplugs. (I wish I had. Next time, definitely earplugs.)
Food! What's the food situation like? I'm a foodie, so this is crucial. Is it overpriced tourist fare, or authentic Balinese deliciousness?
Food? Ah, the eternal question. It's a mixed bag, honestly. The breakfast buffet is a *riot*. Seriously. So many options. So much fruit! You'll want to try everything. And you *should* try everything. Just maybe don't eat *too* much on the first day - jet lag and a full belly can be a brutal combo. Lunch and dinner at the hotel restaurant are… good. Maybe a little pricey compared to what you can find outside, but the quality is decent. Authentic Balinese? Some dishes are, but they cater to the crowd. My advice? Venture *outside*. Explore the little warungs (local restaurants) nearby. You'll get far better, cheaper, and more authentic food, and probably get a good laugh trying to order. Ask the staff for recommendations; they know all the best spots. Trust me. You won't regret it. I went to the same warung down the road every day for Nasi Goreng and became best friends with the chef and his cat. It was probably the highlight of my trip. And yes, I still crave that Nasi Goreng.
Anything I *absolutely* should NOT miss while I'm there? Any hidden gems or things to avoid?
Okay, this is important. Don't miss: The Monkey Forest! (But, you know, watch your stuff. I saw a monkey steal a lady's glasses right off her face. She was *not* happy.) A traditional Balinese dance performance. It's mesmerizing, even if you don't understand a word. (The costumes are insane!) And… walking through the rice paddies. Find a good path, take it slow, and breathe. It's unbelievably peaceful. Avoid: The expensive souvenir shops near the main temples. You can find the same stuff for half the price elsewhere. Also, perhaps avoid the overly-aggressive touts. A firm "no, thank you" is your best friend. And finally, don't miss out on a spa treatment. Pampering yourself is mandatory.
What about the staff? Are they genuinely friendly and helpful?
The staff? Oh, darling, they *make* the place. Seriously. They are, without exception, lovely. That Balinese charm? It's real. They are genuinely friendly, always smiling, and incredibly helpful. They remember your name (even if you can't remember theirs!), and they go out of their way to make you feel welcome. Did I mention they're lovely? Because they are. I needed a taxi at 3 am and one of them woke up, made me a coffee, and made sure I got in a safe car. I'd go back just to see them again. Seriously, the staff are the diamond in the rough, the true luxury. Tip them well. They deserve it. They put up with a lot. Like, me, for example.
Okay, let's be real. What was the *worst* part? Spill the tea!
Ugh, fine. You want the truth? Okay, one thing. The "free" shuttle to town... it was supposed to be convenient. And it *was*... if you were okay with leaving at precisely 9:00 am, or 2:00 pm or 5:00 pm. Which, newsflash, is not always convenient! I missed it twice. Seriously, I was so close to raging the second time I almost ran into the street naked and yelled at the gods. I’m not a planner, I’m a “go with the flow” type, and I HATE being tied down by a schedule. So, my advice? Skip the shuttle. Taxi, scooter (if you're brave!), or walk. It's better than constantly checking your watch and feeling like you're being herded around. And pack some spare underwear, in case you *do* end up screaming at the traffic, naked. You know, just in case.
